Her Window's Dark
by hogwaffle
Summary: Companion piece to Bare Wood Floors takes place after that. Faith finds Buffy just when she needs her most.


Joss owns them, Avril Lavigne owns the lyrics to "Nobody's Home"…..I guess I own the story…. ) To anyone interested in reading an original story by me, where I own everyone, please go over to http/ and look up guessit. I just started a new story "Blood Ties", which I am posting there, and there is an older one that I have all written, but didn't get much feedback so stopped posting, if that one interests you gimmie feedback and I will post the rest of it. Thanks for all the reviews everyone!

:I couldn't tell you

Why she felt that way

She felt it every day:

Her windows dark, but I know she's there.

I can feel her, always could. I don't think we ever talked about it, but I know she can feel me too; at least she used to be able too. I am not so sure now.

It's the middle of the night, Red called me a few hours ago, said B was in real bad shape, hadn't left her room for days. Apparently she's not eating now. Red's real worried, seems to think I can do something to help. Something about notes around the bed, all talking about me, all saying how much she wants to see me. I've never heard so much pain in someone's voice as I heard in Red's.

I had to come back, had to try to help.

:What's wrong, what's wrong now

Too many, too many problems:

It's the letter that confuse me. I mean I am willing to try to help, but B has never really been my number one fan. I don't think she ever even made the top ten list. I wanted so bad to be with her, close to her, and she just kept pushing me away.

I was so angry.

That's why I flipped, went to the mayor, tried to kill Angel. It was all juvenile and stupid, just because she didn't want me like I wanted her. Fucking dumb of me. I had a good year and half in prison to show for it. Angel is the only reason I am out now. Got some friend of his to get me out on early parole, said he'd take any blame if something went wrong.

I can't explain the narrow path I've been walking for the last couple months. I'm not gonna let him fall for my mistake. I could never do that to him, he was the first person to really believe in me.

I guess I should knock.

:She wants to go home

But nobody's home now:

It's close to one in the morning, but I know Red is waiting. I told her I was leaving as soon as we got off the phone. She said she'd be up. I knock on the door, standing back a bit to wait, wishing to god I had a fucking cigarette.

"Faith," Red half smiles to see me, but she gives me a genuine hug, which leads me to believe the half smile is more out of worry for Buffy, and not lingering hate for me.

"Where is she?" I ask, glancing around the old Summer's homestead still looks mostly the same, cept the eerie emptiness Joyce left behind.

"In her room, she still hasn't eaten," Red, answers, stepping back and hugging herself.

"Give me something to take to her," Red nods and disappears for a moment. Fuck B, when did I become the sane one? I don't like this at all. Red hands me a bagel, and motions for me to head upstairs.

They creak a little as I ascend. I remember their sounds so well, and I know that if I chose to avoid the second from the top step, I would be avoiding a massive creak. It rings out loud in the empty stairs as I step on it. I turn and stand in front of B's room.

How can I ever save her?

:With no place to go

No place to go

To dry her eyes

Broken inside:

Somehow I already know that's what she needs, as insane as it sounds in my head, I know B is waiting for me to save her. I can hardly save myself, let alone another person, one who was always so much stronger then me.

I push open the door, and walk across the dark room. It's a full moon so there is more than enough light to see. B is curled up with her back to me. I set the bagel on bedside table, and sit behind her, placing a cool hand on her cheek.

Her shut eyes flutter open, and she turns to look at me.

"Faith?" Her voice is hoarse.

"Yeah?" I smile down at her, fighting back tears at the sight of her. She is so ungodly thin, and her eyes, fuck her eyes, she's given up already.

"You came," she smiles now, it looks lost.

"Of course. You needed me," I brush hair out of her face, amazed at how natural this all feels.

:Her feelings she hides

Her dreams she can't find

She's loosing her mind:

"The letters, did you get them?" She asks, then frowns. "No, they're still here, everywhere. She sits up, and I move so we are sitting side by side. "Everything's spinning," she lays back down, her head in my lap, my heart catches in my throat.

"Here, have something to eat," I pull a chunk of the bagel off, putting it in her hand. She eats it quickly and I hand her more.

Trying not to disturb her, I reach down to the floor, picking up a handful of letters. I glance through them as I feed her the rest of the bagel. I don't think she notices me reading.

I love you.

Please come back.

Why did I fuck up?

Can you forgive me?

I hate you.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

I need you.

I can't believe the things I am reading.

"Faith I mean it all," I jump a little; I didn't realize she was watching me. Now I look over and see tears in her eyes, and fear, so much fear.

"I know B," I smile. She just looks broken. "Let's lay down." I coax her down so we are spooning, her frail body hugged tight to my stomach. I am running a hand through her hair, smoothing it back. I can feel her shaking as she cries; I wipe the tears away as well as I can.

:She's falling behind

She can't find her place

She's loosing her faith

She's falling from grace

She's all over the place:

She's so beautiful still.

I push her hair away from her neck, and kiss the exposed skin gently.

"I love you too B, everything's gonna be alright."

I kiss that same place again, and feel her shiver.


End file.
